Sitting in his office as usual felt somewhat dull. Yes it was a few minutes past midnight and there was little light. But the atmosphere was dull. There was no light touch to it that made it bearable for him to sit there all day and do his paperwork. He knew what it was.

Guilt.

Guilt was what plagued his thoughts, therefore making the air around him seem dull and heavy. He just couldn't get over it. He couldn't see past the fact that it really wasn't his fault. That they all played to it. That everyone was tricked too. It was the one thought that destroyed him. Over and over it played in his head like a broken record.

It was my sword.

It was his sword that pierced her skin. His sword that almost killed her. His sword that completely broke her. And he would never forgive himself for it.

He was finishing up his paperwork as he listened to the ticking of his clock. He tried to take his mind off the thought my doing his paperwork, but it was almost done. What would he do with nothing else to distract him?

He finally took the last piece of paper in his hands. He only needed to sign it. He sighed to himself and almost winced as he signed the paper and put it on the completed pile. He had spent all day doing paperwork. He used to just train to take his mind off his thoughts. To get stronger. But his subordinate had noticed that he was getting exhausted. She refused to let him go and train to the point where she had to use a kido spell to bind him to his chair and tell him the plain truth. Her words echoed in his head.

"Taicho, I won't let you. You have to listen to me. If you get yourself exhausted and down to squad four do you really think Momo will be pleased? If you want to please her, and protect her, you can't let yourself get ill. You're getting everyone worried. Just go back to what you do best, doing your paperwork, and telling me to do mine!" she had laughed afterwards with a deep and pleading pain in her eyes he had never seen before.

He sighed again and got up to go to his room to sleep. He took Hyorinmaru in his hand and walked slowly through his barracks. He could tell by the way he felt if anyone saw him now they would know something was wrong. He could feel the sad emotions plastered onto his face.

It was my sword.

The thought hit him again when he was just outside his room. He stopped and fell to the floor clutching his head.

It was my sword.

He winced in pain of the memory. The image of his sword piercing Momo. Her blood on him.

It was my sword.

He gritted his teeth as a single tear trickled down his face as he shouted out in a deep and painful cry,

"NO!"

He staggered up quickly to shut himself in his room as more rare tears ran down his ice-cold face when he slid the door open. But he stopped as he gasped in shock.

Sitting by his bed with her head on the sheets quivering, was Momo. She was in her light yellow nightgown and her hair was tied in a loose ponytail. She was crying, obviously quite badly because he could hear the little squeaks and gasps she made, and was clearly shaken up by something. She hadn't heard him, or sensed him yet. He took the opportunity to wipe his face and calm himself down before saying,

"H-Hinamori?"

She gasped and turned around sharply. Her eyes were dark and her expression showed her pain. She looked petrified. Her eyes were wide like a stunned deer. Had he done something? Why was she he if he had?

"Hitsugaya-kun! Y-you're not d-dead?" she said between little gasps.

He looked at her. Dead? She thought he was dead? Why?

"Why would you think I was dead?" he said quietly taking a tiny step back, which she did notice.

Momo looked at him tears pouring down her face again.

"U-Unohana-taicho told me your arm and leg had been cut off entirely! I th-thought you'd died! I woke up and she told me, after she left I-I ran here and you were gone, I thought… I-I thought you …" but she couldn't finish her sentence before bursting out into tears and running into his arms.

Her warm tears seeped through his haori and shihakusho she was crying so much. His expression softened as he took her over to sit on the bed. He couldn't believe that she ran all the way over here. Did she really care about him that much?

"Hinamori, can I ask you something?"

She stiffened at the formal title, and frowned whilst she sniffed away the rest of her tears on his shoulder. He sighed. He knew she hated it, but he knew it was just manners as well.

"Momo," she looked up at him and attempted a smile before dropping it "can I ask you something."

She nodded.

"If I gave you something, something … special, would you forgive me?"

At this Momo found interest and sat up to look at his face.

"What do you mean?"

"Would you forgive me?" he said quietly, as he moved closer to her, "Just yes," he moved even closer, so that their noses were almost touching, and whispered "or no."

He almost couldn't hear it, only just, a very silent whisper that shattered him completely.

"No."